The Wonderland Project
by SquickWrites
Summary: Wonderland isn't real, we promise. But we can make it real. It's cheap too. Sure it isn't exactly safe and you may not leave all that sane, but it'll take you to a new high. You'll love it anyway. We promise. T  just in case
1. Prototypes

**Yes. Oh what, you Fanfiction people didn't know that Alice in Wonderland was my entire life? Well yeah it is. Since I was like three. I cried when I saw the Tim Burton Movie (No exaggeration. As soon as we got out of the theater and into the vehicle, I was in tears. And then people were like 'WHY ARE YOU CRYING' and I was like 'It was a good movie.') So seriously, don't screw with me and my Alice or I'll blow your freaking brains out.**

**Okay?**

**Love ya ;D**

**~Chae**

"_Imagine a place you can always escape to…_

_It's an island off the coast of nowhere._

_A destination purely of your creation, just waiting for your appearance. Blue treetops… velvet skies…_

_Are you ready to blow your mind?_"

"Was it a bad idea to let the advertisement out before we tested the project?" Asked the first man in a white coat.

"_This is a town with no history… Welcome to mystery._"

The second man continued staring at the television. "Probably. But we're in the process, correct?"

The first man nodded slowly. "I suppose. We've already captured our Alice and a Hatter. It's simply a matter of getting them to play along…"

"Are they resisting?"

"They aren't even awake yet."

"_This is where your mind can escape, and go to places far far away.._"

Cut to smiling citizens enjoying their kingdoms.

"_My what a wonderful feeling…_"

A smile worthy only of a Cheshire Cat.

"_Feel no misery…_"

A giggling Alice.

"_Come and visit me…_"

A charming Hatter tips his hat.

"_Welcome to mystery._"

In curious white letters.

Fade to black.

**WHOOO. FAIL INTRO FTW. I promissseee it gets better, lol. I just had to do that so it wouldn't be entirely to confusing when the story starts, but confusion is what makes it! **

**Can anyone guess what song from Tim Burton's Alice's soundtrack this is? It's an easy one. That soundtrack inspired this story and I've given nearly all of the characters a themesong from that soundtrack to create/represent them by. Try to guess them. JUST. TRY.**

**So are ya gonna reaaad? So are ya gonna revieeeewwww? So are ya gonna faaaavveee? So are ya gonna aleeeerrrtt?**

**Do it.**

**~ Chae/Ota/Whoever**


	2. Down The Rabbit's Glass

**Wow, I actually got reviews. *Happy face* I'm sorry if this took longer than you expected, but I'm writing the chapters out on paper (they seem to flow better when I'm writing in bed at one in the morning XD) and must type them up. I'm trying to write in first person here, which I REALLY don't do, but I'll try. So I hope you like it! Now it's time for an Alice POV~**

**~Chae**

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

_**Alice**_

"_Alice! Alice! Come on now, wake up!"_

I kept my eyes closed. I didn't know who Alice was, but it certainly wasn't me. I was… Okay, I had no _clue_ who I was. But I certainly wasn't _Alice_. Therefore, I had no reason to open my eyes. And thus, I did not open my eyes.

I was shoved roughly on the shoulder, though, accompanied by another shout of "Alice!" So I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. For a second, I wondered, 'Where am I?' but then I remembered that I didn't care. So sitting up, I carefully slid off of the puke green couch.

"Ah, good to see you awake. Now help mom get the house in order, we're going to have guests." This woman had the same voice as the person before. Judging from her brown hair with graying streaks, this was 'mom'. I couldn't recall a mother. Close enough. So I walked towards what was obviously the kitchen after my 'mother'.

"What do you need me to do?" I asked, ready for any chore.

"Well for starters you can-"the sound of a doorbell rang through the house. "Get the doorbell for one. But then get a start on the living room!"

I nodded, trying to follow the sound towards a door. Soon enough, I found it. It was a shockingly awkward shade of purple. Nonetheless, I opened the door and smiled for whoever.

I was met, then, by a smile wider than mine. The man before me was young, with bright, golden-yellow eyes. It clashed in a somewhat attractive way with his darker than dark hair. His smile suddenly became genuine at the sight of me, and mine had probably done the same.

"Alice! It's so great to see you. Really feels like it's been ages since I've seen those pretty blue eyes. I never knew I could miss them so much." He was so flattering and full of compliments. And he'd been the second person to call me Alice, so perhaps my mother was actually relatively sane. And according to him, I had pretty blue eyes.

I inadvertently giggled. He must have found this flirtatious in some way, because right after, his arms wrapped around me. In a split second, his lips were locked tightly with mine. I didn't really know who this guy was, but it's pretty hard to fake that kind of heat. I should've asked if he was French.

French or not, I must have known him for this to happen on the front porch.

In the middle of our outstretched embrace, I heard footsteps behind me. Then mom's voice rang out, "Get a _room_ you two! Jack! If you continue touching my daughter in such a manner, I swear you will never touch _anything_ again!"

The man's arms immediately unraveled from my waist, but his lips lingered.

I didn't mind.

At all, really.

But he parted all too soon and looked at my mother with an embarrassed blush. "I'm sorry, but we've been apart for so long… I guess it just became an impulse." Jack told mother.

"Well if we're finished with _that_, you may as well come in." I found myself finally speaking directly to him.

"Right… right." He still seemed flustered, but I just smiled.

"And _don't_ think that just because your little boyfriend's here you're off the hook. Get on that living room!" Mother commanded.

Oh hey, I have a cute boyfriend, I'm okay with that.

So I nodded and walked into what looked somewhat like a living room. Just as I did so, I ran into the kitchen to grab a broom. On my way back, I noticed Jack receiving some form of a lecture from mother. So I grabbed him, kissed him, smiled at mother and ran off to the living room. I wonder if I have always been such a flirt. Because I disgusted myself if I was.

So I hid away in my sweeping. I fluffed the pillows. I scrubbed the floors with the wood cleaner from atop the fireplace. I wanted to scrub myself off the face of the earth. But wood cleaner couldn't possibly be that strong.

When I was nearly finished, I approached the corner hidden behind a couch. Moving the couch slightly, I came face to face with a small door. It was, however, large enough for someone of my stature to fit in. There was a minute of temptation. Then I finished scrubbing the floor and put the wood cleaner away. Afterwards, I stood up and climbed onto the couch. Kneeling over the arm I examined the door. Kneeling over the arm, I examined the door. It wasn't really _that_ small… I could fit through it no problem. So I opened the door and stuffed my head in. I could see nothing but black.

At the sight of a pair of red eyes, I backed out and immediately slid across the floor, away from the opening. Perhaps all hell was about to break out because of that door… My mind flashed to a thought of Coraline for a split second, and so I waited patiently for the demonic Other Mother to appear. But instead, there was a white rabbit.

In the back of my mind, this all seemed vaguely familiar. But I couldn't pin it so I ignored it. The more important thing was that a small white rabbit had just entered my living room. I crawled back towards the door, and the rabbit shrank away from me. As I reversed, the rabbit emerged.

Somehow this felt like a trap. Little white rabbits don't invade people's homes on a daily basis, do they? I thought, maybe I could outsmart thing. Backing away again, I watched the rabbit reappear. I could catch this thing with the right speed. Heading full speed towards the door, I reached out ready to grab the little animal. And I failed. Miserably.

I was trapped in that door up to my waist. But there was no ground beyond it. My upper body was literally _hanging_ from that opening, but I was securely wedged in that door. So I swear someone must have pulled me. A hand must have grabbed me by the arm or something sucked me in, because either way I ended up falling. Head over heels, rolling, rolling. After some time I was able to level myself out in some sort of skydiving position. Just in time for me to get a view of the mirror, of course. Everything had been dark since that fall started, but suddenly there was just enough light to see myself in the looking glass. My blue eyes looked frightened. My blonde hair was wild and my arms were flailing. I did not want to hit the mirror. I didn't want the glass to attack me. But I hit the mirror. I could feel the tiny shattered pieces digging into my skin. Then I landed with a thump, and everything went black.

**Soooooo awkward chapter is awkward. I actually have a lot of the second chapter done! (Not typed, but done lol) So… yay! I hope you guys are okay with this and it wasn't too disappointing… so… yay. Reviews make me happy?**

**~Chae**


	3. A Hatter With No Hat Must Be Quite Mad

**Hi! So I really really can't wait to load this chapter. I actually really like writing from Hatter's perspective. Like more than Alice's. Even though I'm a girl. (cough who goes to an all girls school and doesn't know how to deal with boys because she doesn't know any cough) Soooo yeah. I hope you like him and his personality. He kind of makes me laugh~**

**~Chae. Says. Hi.**

**X.x.X**

_**Hatter**_

I opened my eyes slowly. A bright light was shining in my face. For a second, I tried moving my arms, but they were tied securely to the metal gurney I was attached to. I couldn't help feeling like I was in one of those classic action films. Soon the lazer of death would shoot between my legs and work its way towards my body, ready to slice me in half… except, I had a feeling no hero was coming to get me.

Right at that thought, I heard the sound of a door sliding open. From whatever angle I could see, the walls were made completely of glass. They looked completely ready to be shattered to pieces. A man in black goggles, purple gloves and a white lab coat approached me. A surgical mask covered his face. The typical evil scientist.

He lifted an eyebrow at me. "Anesthesia wear off yet?" he asked me.

Judging from my inability to move, it had not. I tried to open my mouth and say 'No', but that wasn't happening either. Somewhat begrudgingly, I tried my best to shake my head. The doctor must have gotten the message because he nodded and walked away. Then the lights went off and everything was still.

o-o-o-o

I must have dozed off at some point to have woken up. That same bright light was shining in my face again. Before I thought about anything else, I exercised each finger, and then rotated my wrists twice. The anesthesia had now worn off. Good.

Now I voluntarily turned my head to the left. The glass walls remained transparent and I could see the twenty or so doctors out there. They all looked just like the one before. White lab coats, goggles, gloves and surgical masks. The exact same thing was to my right.

For one second, this was all okay. But then I realized that I was in a glass room surrounded by 'doctors'. This was, in no way, okay. Considering that I had just recovered from anesthesia. I was being observed in a glass room. I was stratpped to a gurney and so forth… this really was _not_ okay.

"Um, hey… can I go now?" I asked, more to the air than anyone.

Doctors were scribbling away at clipboards. They talked amongst themselves and then a door that I never would have noticed was opened. On the flip of a switch, the walls suddenly became opaque. Or at least, from my side.

I felt the restraints on my arms release and immediately sat up. Face to face with me was the doctor from yesterday. It was somehow easy to tell him apart from the others. But this time, he was slowly removing his gloves.

"Don't worry about it, they can't see you either." He seemed to be trying to reassure me. On some levels, he had.

"Peachy. But… can someone tell me-"

I was cut off. "Be patient." He ordered me, pointing at me with a pen he had pulled from his coat.

"Alright then." I muttered, biting my tongue. The doctor proceeded to poke at me with the pen, appearing to test for reflexes.

"Oh hey look, you're awake." The doctor said to me, pulling off his surgical mask to reveal a smile. "Walk with me, and don't drift or you'll die, okay?" he said to me. As my legs were released, I climbed off the stretcher and did as I was told, following the doctor across the room and through another door I was nearly certain hadn't existed before.

We walked for a while, so it was obvious that we had ventured into a hallway. The walls, ceiling and floor were pitch black, but bright lights were strategically placed on the floor, just to see where your feet were. I could see where doors were as well. Light shone from little cracks in the walls where new rooms probably were. But we had yet to open one.

I had just considered that this hallway must have been endless, considering how long we'd walked when the doctor spoke again. "Alright, Hatter, you've been patient. Feel free to toss questions as you please."

I did not pause. "Where am I and why is a good spot to start. But even before that, just who is this 'Hatter'?"

"Wise choices. But that is classified, classified and obvious."

I ticked off each question in my head. "Why would that be obvious?" I asked.

"Do you know who _you_ are?"

"No."

"Hatter."

"Uh… no."

"Why not?"

"Because the answer is no!"

"Wrong answer."

I pondered an acceptable reply. "Well, what's a hatter without a hat?" I asked, pulling at my own wavy brown hair.

But the doctor just smiled, like this was predictable. "Only a Mad Hatter, perhaps."

o-o-o-o

There had been many questions and blunt answers of 'classified' 'classified' and 'obvious' but without half the explanation I had received at first. So before long, I decided to shut up and buckle in for the ride. Just as I chose to do so, my new 'acquaintance' stopped. I did not have the mental capacity to stop, thus I ran into him at full speed. But he was like a wall and did not budge. With barely a glance at me over his shoulder, he tuned to the left and opened a door. Stepping inside, he grabbed my arm and dragged me inside, slamming the door behind us.

The room was blinding white and I swear, the door disappeared as soon as it was closed. The doctor's face seemed smiley as he pulled off his goggles. He was a stereotypical ginger, revealing his green eyes, freckled face and red hair. He unbuttoned his lab coat to reveal a black and green pinstriped dress shirt under a black and green sweater vest. When I noticed he was wearing jeans, the getup somehow made me relax.

"Now then Hatter, let's talk about _you_."

"Just what I've been waiting for." I retorted, sounding, I know, quite bitter. But I had a right to do so, didn't I?

The doctor raised both hands as if proving his innocence. "Don't sound so upset with me! I'm _just_ doing my job, and at the moment, I'm the closest thing you have to a friend. Say we just settle down, eh?" he countered.

I frowned, but nodded. He actually looked remorseful. It seemed that even if this guy was in charge, he wasn't really a threat. Noticing them, I took a seat in one of the two white cushioned chairs on either side of the white table at the center of the room.

I tried to gain a pattern of thoughts. "So talking about _me_. Or per say, talking about _Hatter_."

"Would you care for some tea?" The doctor suddenly blurted out. It didn't seem impulsive though, but like a genuine question. And strangely enough, I _did_ care for some tea.

"I… suppose. Mint or earl would do me well. As would lemon at the momen-"

"You chose any interesting way to word that." The doctor cut me off. Again.

"What? I just wanted some te-"

"We have all of those teas! I can have them brought up for you if you'd like."

"…Okay. You do that." I resolved not to question his strange manner of speaking. But he would clear that all up soon anyway.

He began again, "As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me…"

…Wait, what?

"That was an interesting way of wording it. 'Talking about me, or per say Hatter.' Like you're two different people."

"But we are, aren't we?"

The doctor paused and his eyes shifted upwards, but after a few moments, he nodded. "I suppose so." It seemed as though he'd stopped to ponder something before he turned to a keyboard panel on the wall and shouted into it, "MINT EARL AND LEMON! NOW!" at that moment it occurred to me for the first time that this man was, in fact, crazy. "Lewis by the way. Hymmn. Lewis Hymmn."

When he turned to me, I realized that the comment was aimed at me. So I took note. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Hym-"

"Lewis. It'll just be Lewis in your account."

"Lewis."

There was an extremely awkward pause.

"I say we wait for our tea!" Lewis said, sitting across from me in the other cushioned chair.

Approximately three minutes later, the tea arrived. Lewis jumped up and ran to the door to grab the tea set. Without a word, he slammed the door in the deliverers face. Quickly as he left, he ran to the table and set the tea down.

All of them looked the same, but I could immediately tell which was which without a whiff of the drinks. Instinctively, I folded my legs and grabbed the mint and lemon tea. Expertly, I poured them into each other's cups, mixing the flavors. Then I put exactly seventy three drops (or rather two pours) of Earl Grey into each cup. With that, I dropped in three and a half sugar cubes and stirred them with my mixture. In seconds, I had the cup lifted to my lips.

Only after the tea was draining down my throat did I notice what I had just done. And the concoction was heavenly.

"Astounding." Lewis whispered, staring me down across the table. He carefully added three and a half cubes of sugar to his own cup of the mixture and drank it obligingly. "Absolutely remarkable. And now we can talk! The tea has cleared yoru mind, hasn't it?"

It was then that I realized yes, the tea had made things seem much more solid. "What did you spike the stuff with?" I asked.

"Nothing! Not a drop of a drug. You'd be able to tell otherwise, wouldn't you?" He replied.

I nodded, because I knew that above everything else was true.

"Now these are the basics. Do not interrupt me, do not speak, do not make a sound." I nodded again, surprised by his sudden authority. "Okay. Good.

"Now, your one, most important, and _greatest_ objective, is Alice. It always has been Alice. It always will be Alice. Alice is the only thing of any importance to you. The only thing that makes you is _Alice_.

I felt compelled to interrupt, speak, and or make a sound. But I didn't.

"Trust the hare and mouse, but not once the rabbit. Perhaps the king. Only one time the Jack. And not ever the Duchess or Queen. The jabber is one to fear, but above all else the Cheshire. He is wise, but sly and ruthless on the side. The cat will tell lies, but the Cheshire will be honest. Just know which one you are dealing with or don't deal with him at all." He stopped suddenly. "You got that?"

"…Write it down for me and we can try this again." I replied.

Lewis sighed but he was smiling. "I take it you understand your job, though?"

"…Alice!"

"Exactly!"

"…Really?" My eyes widened. How was that right?

"Your job is Alice, Alice, _Alice_. Make sure she is happy. Ensure that she is safe! Her life _is your life_!"

"Melodramatic, huh?" I asked impulsively.

"No. It doesn't matter what you think or feel. You. Love. This. Girl!" Lewis leaned in for effect, trying to drill it into my head. "Alice is your everything, okay?"

I bit my lip and narrowed my eyes at Lewis. What was this? "Why? Who is Alice and what makes her so important?"

Lewis shook his head. "Questions are futile! And we have to put you under soon."

"…Okay. Somehow, I'm almost willing to go along with this." I found my myself whispering.

"Really? Why? Even I didn't see that coming." Lewis looked shocked in this revelation.

"I'm just tired. My mind is too cluttered and we're out of tea. Just tell me who this Alice girl is and I'll stick to her like glue the minute I see her."

"I think I like you, kid! As for Alice… you don't need specifics. Alice is Alice, and it'll be obvious when you see her." Lewis suddenly pulled a syringe from the pocket of his lab coat he had draped over his chair. "So about going under, you ready?"

"Well… what am I really doing? I get it, Alice is important, but what am I keeping her safe from and why does she need to be happy?" I asked, thinking maybe now would be a good time for answers.

"Haha! If I knew, Hatter, I would have told you long ago! Just make sure everything turns out all right."

"…Alright?"

"Now good night!" I hadn't even noticed how close he was to me, so naturally when he stabbed that needle into my arm, I was a bit more than shocked.

But then everything was dark, so what did it matter?


	4. You're Late! For A Very Important Wait

**Haha. This is more like an intro than the intro was~ So short chapter, just to get people where they need to be ;D Of course, Hatter's will be longer because… hey it's Hatter and he has work to do.**

**So don't cry over the crap I'm giving you, Hatter's will be together soon and then we can really start this. ()**

**~ XD OTA!**

**X.x.X**

_**Alice**_

"_Stupid girl… Stupid, __**stupid**__ girl!_"

The masculine voice was unfamiliar, but then again, so were most voices at the moment.

"Stupid, stupid, _stupid_!" The voice continued whining. "IDIOT!" it suddenly yelled, and I was roughly kicked in the gut.

Reacting, I jumped up and my eyes flew open as I screamed. "What the he-" but I cut myself short.

No man stood there. A rabbit did. One in a checkered waistcoat and lifting a pocket watch over his spectacled face. There were probably dozens of white rabbits in the world, but I had a hunch that this was the same one. From the living room of course. I should listen to myself more often, especially when I consider being trapped or not.

"And finally the fool awakens! On her time, of course. Well get this through your _skull_, girlie!" The rabbit shoved his watch into my face. I tried to interpret the odd markings, but he pulled the watch back before I had the chance. "You don't _have_ your own time! It's _my time_ and it's the _queen's time_! Owning even a small piece of time is an honor! And honor is something you _clearly_ have yet to obtain."

I stared at the rabbit. Exactly what was happening to me? Rabbits don't have _waist coats_! Rabbits don't have glasses and they certainly don't have pocket watches! The average rabbit doesn't even _talk_ for that matter…!

"So time takes honor? Clearly it doesn't require manners because you seem to be lacking all of them! I didn't ask you or the god forsaken _queen_ for your freaking time so _Take. It. Back_! I'll get my own!" I screamed.

Wait what the heck.

I'm screaming at a rabbit.

"Now my dear, tell me where I am and I'll gladly be on my _way_!" I shouted. Questions seem to flow easier when you are shouting them as statements instead.

The rabbit paced back and forth for a bit before muttering one word. "Wonderland…"

I paused, taken aback. I was _Alice_. I had fallen _down a rabbit's hole_ and _through a looking glass._ The irony was too ironic for its own good. This sort of coincidence doesn't just happen, right? Hitsuzen, right?

"You have no idea how…" The rabbit kept speaking to himself and pacing without pause. "And of course we're both _late_ now! And I'm always on time! I have to be on time! It's my job to be _on time_! The Queen'll have my head for this! I'm dead because of an idiot with a fancy name!"

"I don't understand how either of us can possibly be late in a world where time does not exist. And thus, how can you own time either..?" I whispered, pondering just loud enough for the rabbit to hear.

"Oh but there is a Time! And believe me, Time is not a patient man. Not patient at _all_! Come to think of it, why am I even here? The Queen won't let me hear the end of this! What am I waiting fo-" The white animal suddenly stopped. His red eyes grew wide and his smile became vivid. Out of the blue, he laughed. It was the laugh after an ingenious epiphany.

"Not my _job_! Not my _job_! Haha! To think! I had become so used to doing this over and over again…"

I blinked awkwardly out of confusion. "Not your job? And what do you mean used to it? Just making an assumption from the apparent storyline that just happens to be following the Wonderland books, aren't I supposed to chase you until I get lost?" I shooed the rabbit. "Now dash along so that I may chase you!"

The rabbit laughed mockingly, skipping away backwards. "Not my problem, dear Alice! You are in the hands of the _cat_ and the _Hatter_! Not! My! Problem!" The rabbit snickered again at his lack of responsibility. "And so I'd best be off! Have fun finding that cat, by the way. He has an odd tendency to… disappear!"

The rabbit cackled almost evilly, ducking behind a tree. I jumped to my feet, running to the tree of course, trying to find my guide. Looking around it, the rabbit had vanished. And suddenly, I had a bad feeling about all this.

"Well… I suppose just for the sake of staying in character, I may as well say it. 'This is just getting curiouser, and curiouser!'" I found myself quoting the best I could from my character. Perhaps I was testing who Alice was. No, testing who I was. I did not want to lose my muchness, after all.

"Now where in the Wonder World would I find a disappearing cat?" I wondered aloud, walking aimlessly in some direction.

**X.x.X**

**Lol hi. When I picture the rabbit in this story, I think he's that awkward guy that everyone likes on some level who is very expressive. He uses his hands all the time to explain himself and whatnot. As for Alice… She's just trying to make her way.**

**I'.**

**AND THEN EVERYONE WAITS FOR THE HATTER CHAPTER BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT ONE IS BETTER.**

**~Ota XD**


	5. AUTHOR'S NOTE! VERY IMPORTANT!

**VERY VERY VERY VERY ****VERY**** IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**LIKE DEATHLY IMPORTANT.**

**Okay! Hello Blonde Family and Alice fans!**

**I bet you can't wait to hear how I screwed up, huh?**

**Well here's to you!**

**o-o-o**

**OH BUGGER.**

**(and no I'm not some British Wannabe. I say 'Oh Bugger' on a daily basis, just as I say many uncommon terms.)**

**Well you see, this is the situation.**

**My grade went on a field trip at five o clock. I had been showing a couple friends a story I had written for school last year while I read theirs (one grade below me). Now, I realized it was four forty. So I needed to change. We were supposed to be at the buses at five and by the time I got out of the bathroom to change, it was 5:06. Not good. So I ran, screaming bye to my two friends out the door. I literally had my shoes in my hands and ran through puddles, snow and ice in my nice white socks.**

**How many of you see where this is going?**

**When we finally got back, at 10:00 (Which, given, was an hour late.) the school was locked. So we had to wait an extra fifteen minutes for security to get there and unlock the doors. (Believe me, we tried breaking in.) When we did get in, something hit me. I said to myself:**

"**Did I leave my tablet out in the open for five hours?"**

**So I looked for it where it had been, and it was gone.**

**My bag was still empty on the front step, but the laptop and charger were gone. There sat my lunchbag where my tablet should have been…**

**And it wasn't.**

**So Juma (another friend) and I ran around the entire school trying to find it.**

**No such luck.**

**And as it would turn out, that was not MY laptop. MY laptop is being paid for by the school to be fixed. THAT LAPTOP BELONGED TO THE SCHOOL. So in other words I am in deep fuck. (excuse my potty mouth, I try to tread lightly, honest.)**

**Now all of this happened yesterday, and I'm hoping, HOPING, one of my friends had sense enough to grab my tablet.**

…

**But my friends and I are not known for our common sense.**

**SO I APOLOGIZE IF THE UPDATES DON'T COME WHEN YOU WOULD LIKE.**

**LIKE SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS NEED TO PRAY FOR ME, BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE 2-20,000 DOLLARS TO SPEND ON ANOTHER LAPTOP THAT I WONT GET.**

**Wish me luck,**

** Chae Was Here**


	6. Welcome To The Tea Party, I Suppose

**Hello Baby! (Oooh! Lol I love you if you get that reference) So anyway, finished this chapter a few days ago. Here's some Hatter! Meet the March Hare and a bit of the Dormouse~**

**~Chae. Was. Here.**

To find yourself laying under a tree is actually relatively satisfying after forgetting yourself, waking up in a hospital, and trying to rebuild a personality. But sooner or later, you realize that there are millions of trees in the world, and you have no idea where you are. But that's just my opinion. Maybe you're into getting lost - and hey, who am I to judge? – But I am not one of those people.

I got up, feeling a bit more than just disoriented. Looking around, I realized the area was heavily wooded. Some trees were overloaded with foliage; others had been completely stripped of even their bark. Like I said, millions of trees in the world, and I still had no idea where I was.

Trying to discern a method of finding… whatever I was looking for, I looked up at the sky. It was a nice soft pink, almost like sunrise or sunset. For a few moments I was calm. But just guessing from the protruding hints of purple and green, I knew that this was not a normal place. As I considered this, I heard some muffled voices. They almost seemed to be singing, and I figured it was my best bet. Sooner than later, I came across what you _could_ say I had been looking for. But not exactly.

"Up above the world you fly! Like a-"The brown rabbit stopped singing with the gray mouse covered in dirt. Although his back was turned to me, the way his ears twitched towards me let me know instantly that I was far from invisible.

The mouse stared at me, his face pinched into a scowl. He scoffed. "What a sorry excuse for a Hatter! The _host_ absolutely cannot be late to his _own party_!"

I stared at the disgusting little creature. "Ah… exactly when did I become the host of this party again?" I asked, politely as you could speak to a mouse.

"As soon as you _entered_ Wonderland. And you've been late on that too." The rabbit suddenly screeched, stabbing the fork into the tabletop. "Now take your seat at the head so that we may begin!"

I stared at the rabbit, but eventually obeyed. Slinking by, I took a seat in the plush red chair at the head of the table. As I did so, I poked out my upper lip, mumbling, "I'm pretty sure _somewhere_ in that riddle, Lewis told me not to trust rabbits."

I regretted this the next second as a knife and fork shot past my right ear, barely missing. Had it been a millimeter closer my ear would be _gone_ and I would not be happy.

"Missed by a hair. A _hare_! Got that hatter? Hare. _That's_ what I am! And don't you _dare_ besmirch my name in such a way." The very unhappy _haaaare_ grunted. "Rabbit. To think you would ever categorize me as such."

The mouse was having a laughing fit atop his large pile of thick books. "Hahaha! Ha ha!" he wiped a nonexistent tear from a cloudy blue eye. "Great shot Hare! But did you have to _miss_?" He shouted, still guffawing.

"Listen here, little teeny Dormouse! Alice is out and about as we speak. No one has the Time to find a new Hatter no matter how much of it the" he paused and twisted his face into an annoyed frown. "_RABBIT_ or the Queen buys. It's too much work, and in no way worth the trouble." The Hare replied, picking at his nails with a knife-or wait, claws. (We're hare's supposed to have claws?)

I raised my hand then, "You two seem to be doing just fine without me. So if you don't mind I'll be going now…" because there was only so much craziness one could deal with in a day. Talking animals were not helping my sanity one bit.

The hare pointed his knife and I instantly became still. I had a feeling he would not be missing this instance, enough time for another Hatter or not. "You. Go. Nowhere. Now pick up that pot." The Hare commanded

For maybe a second, I frowned. But I still picked up the pot. No arguing with a angry Hare that is armed with a knife, right?

"And?" I asked in a somewhat irritated voice.

"What's in it?"

I began to lift the lid off of the teapot, but the Hare's knife twitched toward me. "I-I dunno! It feels…" I shook it a tiny bit. "Empty?"

"Pour it, young man." The Hare shouted.

I poured the contents of the pot into my own dust covered jade tea cup. However, instead of air, the cup was filled to the brim with a steaming hot, brown-green tinted tea. The Hare scoffed.

"Green tea. I can practically see the defiance in your face without the tea anyway. Of course the tea can read you, but it's sad if anyone else can. Work on that." He murmured. "Now it would be _best_ for you to be in a better mood by the time Alice gets here. She'll certainly want something sweeter."

That dusty table might have choked me a little, and that may have forced my cough. Or maybe I was shocked at the mention of the name _Alice_.

Either way, I had somehow kicked into Alice mode.

This girl _was_ my life after all, wasn't she?


	7. Sit With Me, Sit! Have a Smoke!

**AGH. Lol, Amaterasuluv left a LOVELY review, and I was oh so very happy. And even though some people may not like her, Alice is still the main character! XD (But I agree with you HATTER FTW!) So here's her chapter with the caterpillar (wewt.) and TOO BAD FOR US, she has a second consecutive chapter to get the Cheshire Cat rolling as well.**

**I had to fight every girlie anime fan bone in my body not turn him into a bishie.**

**But I won't because I'm a good person. And a bunch of people would stop reading if I did. Pft, anyway, let's do this, I'm sick and I need to go to a hospital. Bye.**

**~Chae. Says. *COUGH***

**X.x.X**

_**Alice**_

I bit down hard on my nail. This was not fun. Every girl wanted to be Alice at one point in their lives, right? Just as a note to them, it isn't as fun as everyone makes it out to be.

Wonderland or not, this was still a forest. And of course, you didn't worry about bears in Wonderland, now did you? No, it was more as… Bandersnatches and Jabberwocks. And the Queen's _bird_ thing was one to watch out for as , all of the above sound quite a bit more frightening than lions and tigers and bears. (Oh my!)

From that rabbit's 'hints', I was supposed to meet a Cheshire Cat next. In all the different telling of this Alice story I can recall, no one ever really says _where_ you're supposed to find that Cat. In the original publishing, I'm pretty sure Alice met him outside of Pig and Pepper's house. But then again, _Disney_ never bothered with a Pig or Pepper. But then again, no one did.

So assuming that Pig and Pepper have been cut out of this equation, does that mean I shouldn't worry about the Gryphon and Mock Turtle either?

"Minds so cluttered as yours are very… unattractive."

The voice radiated from behind me, and I considered what this could be.

_Now_, the rabbit told me I was meeting a cat. This wasn't, however, how I imagined the feline would sound. The voice wasn't joking or mysterious. It sounded aggravated, not laughing or-

"_Why_ do you have to think so much, Alice? Did you consider that any other person would simply _turn around_ to see who was behind them? Exactly what is withholding you, then?"

I stood my ground. "The rabbit told me that cats had a terrible habit of disappearing around here. Is that true? If so, I fear that when I turn, you'll be gone before I reconsider."

The anonymous one behind me snorted. "Ah, it can speak. And it speaks logic. But remember, dear, logic won't get you very far in the Wonder World." He chuckled to himself. "Rabbits. Listen closely, the _only_ person foolish enough to trust rabbits is the Queen, herself. And that's probably her best decision, because those atrocious beings have no one else to lean on." There was a low cough, and I felt something warm on the back of my neck.

?

Suspiciously, I turned around. "Caterpillar?" I asked the air.

The insect laughed again, taking a deep breath from his hookah. "Would you like a prize? Anyone else would have known so in half the time."

I frowned before speaking again. "Are you just going to tease me this whole time?"

"When did the Caterpillar ever come across as a nice _person_?"

I nodded, because the caterpillar had always been known for his nasty attitude. "But the caterpillar usually has wise words too. Is there any pending advice I simply _must_ know?"

Taking another deep drag of his hookah, the caterpillar was quick to blow the smoke in my face. "That depends. Would you like to figure out this cat situation or-"

I nodded before he could even finish. The Cat was my objective, and I could make my own way from there.

I must have offended him though, because he swung the pipe end of the hookah at me. I ducked, but there was enough force for smoke to come pouring through. My eyes burned as he continued billowing at me.

"You _**INSOLENT**_ little girl! More advice?" The insect's cheeks were a bright shade of scarlet. "Do not _jump_ at assumptions! You, yourself, called me wise. Please do _tell_, what RIGHT then, do you have to interrupt me?"

I had never craved oxygen so badly in my life. The suffocating fingers of smoke seeped into my hair and clothes. My eyes watered no matter how tightly I closed the lids. And the coughing had just begun.

"Okay. OKAY! I'M SORRY! Please-" I had to pause for another cough. "Continue!" I shouted, choking as the smoke flowed down my windpipe and into my lungs.

Whatever this bug was on was pretty damn strong.

This seemed to satisfy him though, as he immediately shoved the pipe back down his own throat. He frowned, looking sullen as he crossed his top pair of arms. As much as I wanted to know what my other option was, I had a feeling that encouraging him would just agitate him further. The caterpillar let the smoke blowout of his nose and float in my direction with a hint of finality.

"Would you like to figure out this cat situation," he snarled at me. "or would you rather learn a bit about _Alice_?" he finished, with a sort of smirk.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "A bit about me? What's-"

More smoke tightened my throat and cut off my words. "Now when did I ever say anything about _you_? I said _ALICE_."

"Aren't I Alice?"

The caterpillar smiled a knowing smile. "Aren't you?"

I stared at him, because clearly he knew something I didn't and he wanted to make a laugh out of it.

"Am I?"

He continued to smile. Another breath from a hookah, and as he forced out his tongue, a shockingly perfect 'O' left his mouth.

"Who. Are. _You_?"

When he asked me, I paused, because I didn't know anymore. This was a classic pull, from the books, from the movies, from all the stories. If there were ever a Caterpillar, he would whisper, 'Who are you?'

And then you consulted yourself on who you were, didn't you?

I began to do so right then, and realized that I could not really answer that question. I had woken up in an unknown house, and I had no clue what I was doing with myself. People had simply begun to call me by the name, and I complied. But did that make me Alice?

"As far as that choice goes… I'll be choosing Alice. Stray cats always come begging for food, don't they?" I finally answered the Caterpillar.

He smiled smugly. "Aren't you so delighted that I gave you a _choice_?" I bit back a remark about grudges and annoying people. "Now, pay close attention, _Alice_."

I had been consumed by my own thoughts, and ignored the Caterpillar. "And so now you're ignoring the name? No one ever said that you _weren't_ Alice. It was a simple matter of _who are you_?"

"So who is Alice? She can't be me."

"Why not?"

"Because of everything that's happening. A strange man and woman called me Alice, and then a rabbit did too. And when you first talked to me, you called me Alice as well. Since you brought it up, I agree, it seems more like everyone's _forcing_ the title on me rather than-"

"Now now, don't go pinning the blame on _me_! I said nothing of the sort, dear. You completely came to that conclusion on your own."

"But you've been edging me into it. Asking me if I wanted to know about Alice in the first place. You said that like we were two different people, and now I'm thinking we are. But at the same time, you aren't hesitating to call me Alice, so…"

"Are you trying to draw a conclusion? Everything you're saying is baseless, Alice."

"I think you're like a double agent. But whoever's in charge is watching and I don't want to get you in trouble so I will act like I don't know what's going on." At this point, I crossed my eyes and stuck my tongue out, turning away from the Caterpillar.

"Alice, nothing you have said makes sense. You aren't using any real logic in anything you've just said." The Caterpillar muttered, but I could hear a hint of a smile in his voice.

"I could have sworn that you said yourself that logic won't get me very far in the Wonder World." I replied, walking away from the wise words of the Caterpillar.

The Caterpillar laughed heartily. "Good luck finding that Cat, Alice. You were right about strays begging, by the way. It's just a matter of knowing what to feed them."


	8. Within the Cards

**Ohhhhh my. I have been watching Pokemon ((THE REAL DEAL.)) But I need to post this. So, are you ready to meet Chesh? After this we can go on with Hatter~!**

**Pft, no joke guys, this chapter has been done since Easter. But a lot has been going on, and I just haven't felt inspired. But right now I'm listening to the Alice in Wonderland soundtrack, and I'm ready. I think I'm intimidated by the length of this chapter and just how much I will have to change it around. But it is my personal favorite, honestly.**

**SO. I THINK I SHOULD DO IT.**

**~Chae. Is. Done!**

**X.x.X**

_**Alice**_

So apparently cats really weren't any different when you got down to it. A stray would come begging in either place. Supposing they're really alike, what are the chances that if you fed a stray it would always come back? That would be _great_. That way, in theory, I would only have to find the cat once. But I had to '_know what to feed it_'. I couldn't imagine what that meant. But it _had_ helped me realize something.

No food.

Well wait, I hadn't really checked, but it did seem like something I would be aware of. Nonetheless, I started to search the pockets of my aqua-green dress a bit halfheartedly. Then I rummaged around in the pockets of my small white jacket. Finally, in the bottom of one of my jacket pockets, my hand brushed across something. Perhaps something packaged?

My assumption had been correct, however, what I got was not quite what I was expecting. As I pulled the package from my pocket, I realized that it was a deck of _cards_. Now, I love a good game of war but now was _not_ the time.

Still. It seemed that most things in this world served a purpose. Things here happened for a reason, and this deck of cards meant a bit more than a game. Blankly, I set myself up for a game of solitaire. It just seemed like the thing to do. And, all things considered, I didn't know how to play any other card game alone. Spider would never make sense. My game was drawing to an annoying close. The sort where you just _don't know what to do anymore_.

But then the trees started making sounds.

"Hello?" I whispered, directly to the air. And as if it understood who the comment was directed to, the air snatched up my voice and carried it about the woods before m, echoing the question amongst the woods.

As the wind whistled through the leaves, the trees seemed to almost bend to each other, hiding their mouths with branchy arms and whispering to each other.

"_Hello?"_

"_She says hello!"_

"_She's greeting us?"_

"_No one ever even bothers to speak with us."_

But trees don't speak.

And neither does the air, or rabbits, or caterpillars and cats were not meant to either. Yet, all of the above either _have_ spoken or were certainly bracing to. I sat there on the ground, feeling more and more corrupt by the second, fully enveloped in my own confusing thoughts.

"_Would the lot of you just __**SHUT UP**__!"_

This was a stronger, much more prominent voice within the leafy voices of trees.

"_I understand your excitement but you're scaring the poor girl! Leave her be."_

And although the branches still covered their mouths with their twig fingers, the murmurs and chatters of the forest ceased altogether.

I continued staring ahead into the brush, waiting for the trees to go on with their conversations, but they were strangely obedient and kept quiet. Although I was sure they still watched with wood-lidded eyes.

While I was distracted, I felt a presence appear at my left. It had not approached me, walked up to me, or descended upon me. It had formed from thin air, and it's presence left me even more lost than before. I didn't bother looking though, because I had a feeling that I would see nothing if I did.

"_Quite the set of cards you have there._" This was the same voice that had come bellowing through the trees, but much, much closer. Only after this remark did I take any real notice of the cards I was using.

The jokers did somersaults and flips and tricks with their performance balls. The queens wore powder across their faces. Real hair, graying mixed with other shades under unrealistic wigs. Motion ensued as they tried unsuccessfully to tuck the silver strands away. The kings, pointed noses jut out before them, clenched tightly to their scepters. They puffed out their chests in some vain attempt look manly. But their bodies were so thin that their capes, crowns and purple robes were falling from their bodies. Jacks stood tall with charming smile, golden eyes clashing beautifully with dark, dark hair that seemed oh so familiar. Ace's and number cards were drawn in gothic styles, each one spinning slowly and ticking along like a clock. _How_ I hadn't noticed all of this before was beyond me. But now it was the most enthralling thing in this world to me.

"Why do they do that?" I asked the person on my left hand side.

The voice had a smirk all its own. "Each person has a different deck. However, yours seems a little _more_ different than others."

I blinked, trying to focus on anything but the voice, certain that as soon as I saw its owner, it would abandon me. "Oh. And might I see yours?"

There was a pause and then a sly immature laugh. "I am what you would call a collector of sorts when it comes to cards. Considering that I never had a deck of my own. I've almost traded out for all 52, though. I'm only missing one."

"And which one might that be?"

Another pause.

"Two of spades." The voice replies skeptically.

I shuffled through my cards. Soon enough, I encountered the Two of Spades and stared at the card, the symbols spinning slightly faster in my hand. Without another thought, I placed the card where the person should have been standing.

A gray and blue paw slowly landed atop the card, and as it pulled the card towards its body, began to flicker to pink and purple.

I couldn't help it.

Quickly, I looked up, and the fact that I saw anything was more of a surprise than what I actually saw. Although, that compared as well.

Two large, slitted eyes stared at me with a cunning gaze, one blue, the other yellow. The entire cat's body flickered between blue and gray, pink and purple, white and green… My eyes were confused before adjusting to the rapid color changes. Actually noticing the cat, it had the stripes of a tabby but was just as thin and slinky as a witch's black cat. In one fluid movement, the cat flipped its paw, sending the card into the air where it disappeared.

The cat's colors finally set on pink and purple as he spoke the words, "Thank you."

I nodded, sitting back a little. "Now that you have a full deck, what do you plan on doing with it?"

The cat settled down next to me. "Dealing them of course. But, mostly keeping them."

I nodded. "So what do these cards do anyway?"

The cat narrowed its large eyes at me and a pointy, toothy signature smile made its way onto his face. "I feel this world will be all the more exciting if you _don't_ know."

And suddenly the trees picked up again with the wind, but only speaking two alternating phrases:

"_He isn't going to tell her about them?"_

"_Isn't it his job to tell her about them?"_

But the cat held up a paw and yelled, "**Quiet!**" his voice echoed until the trees stopped speaking once more. "I don't think you understand. I am just another glitch in this virus others call a game. Being the most prominent one, I will _do_ and _not do _as I please."

The trees managed to nod in agreement.

… Without heads.

The cat finished everything, then. "Now Alice, I do believe it is time you meet the Hatter. That is at least _one_ of my jobs that I am willing to do correctly."

I finally stopped grasping at the grass beneath me. "You say this is a game..? And you just said that I am Alice without me even telling you! Who – or rather – _what_ are you?"

The cat's smile reformed. "I am simply the Cheshire Cat. And as said, I am the deadliest glitch of all in this game." …and then he disappeared.

I suddenly felt so uncomfortable with myself. He was my one way ticket out of here, or at least to where I should be. But he had left me here. Stranded with an incomplete deck of cards, breathing air and talking trees. I turned to leave when a voice called to me from the opposite direction.

"Where do you think you're going? I said follow me to the _Hatter_! That'll lead you off to the March Hare, love."

I turned to the cat, who was safely nestled in one of the trees, cleverly disguised in his green and white shade. He grinned at me once more.

"Oh what? You thought I was _leaving_ you? " He shook his head, his laugh mocking me.

"You went ahead and fed a stray, dear, I'll just keep coming back!"


	9. A Full Tea Party

**There is literally no excuse for me not to have updated in over two years. Aside from the mere fact that I've been uninspired, there is really no reason.**

**I hope that you all can forgive me – I'm trying to get back into the writing flow, and I still love these characters with a FERVOR. Let's do this.**

**-Chae**

**X.x.X**

_**Hatter**_

Many moments were spent teaching me to make better teas, to make me a better host, and a better member of the 'Wonderland' community. But somewhere in the middle of these lessons, the Hare seemed to lose all concentration, and tweak his ears to the left just a pinch.

"Put the training to good use. Make a better tea." He turned to me quickly.

I turned from the Mouse then, confused at the sudden orders. "What does that mean? Does that mean what I think it means?"

"_Alice_, Hatter." The Mouse tittered on. "It's Alice!"

And because I'd never met the girl, I was jumpy. "Already? So soon? I just got here; I don't know much about being a proper host. I need more time."

"Time?" The Hare glowered at me. "You'd have to ask Time for more Time, and he's not too terribly fond of you."

The Dormouse cackled. "Besides, we haven't got the Time to find Time. You've got to face her now."

"In all honesty, I'm quite scared." I replied. "She might not be fond of me, you know?"

"Whether she's fond of you or not, your job remains the same."

"I know that but-"

A cat was on the table.

I don't know where it came from, but a cat was on the table, relaxing in the teapot.

"Almost here." It said, and then a rustling came from the trees.

"Cheshire?" the call emerged from the woods, as a girl did the same.

The most beautiful plain girl in the entire world, I can assure you of that. The classic Alice, the definition of Alice, the very spitting image of Alice. Alice was all that Alice was supposed to be, and all that I expected.

I didn't know what to do.

That is, until a fork politely stabbed me in the arm as the Hare spoke from one side of his mouth. "Don't freeze up now."

So I took orders, hopped up from my seat, and tried to remember my lessons.

"Alice? Is that you, old girl?" Flinging my arms out, I grinned. "I've been missing you!"

She stared at me, remaining meters away from the table, her eyes wide. "How did you know I was-"

"Alice?" I took a wild guess. The Dormouse had said not to be afraid to guess. "Everyone knows who _you_ are, Alice."

She was genuinely puzzled, but continued. "And you are?"

_Don't blow this. Don't blow this. Do not blow this!_

_Come on Hatter, you can do it._

_She wants to know who you are._

_Who are you again?_

_You literally said your own name a second ago._

_Hatter._

_Just say it._

"It's a bit of a let-down that you don't know, dear." _Smile. Just keep smiling._ "I'm the Mad Hatter."

I wanted to remove my hat and bow at that moment, something charming.

This urge only served to remind me that I was a hatter without a hat.

"A hatter without a hat?" Alice reiterated the point. "That's… odd."

I clenched my teeth. "And an _increasingly_ apparent issue."

"Haven't you got any idea where it is?"

"Not in the slightest."

The cat then appeared across Alice's shoulders, slinking its tail across her arm. "Then perhaps-" it drew out each word. "We should go on a little trip to find it."

I stared at the cat, unsure of what its motive was with this fabricated adventure. But then, it probably knew much more about this place than I did, and probably much more about what I should have been doing.

So I settled a glance on Alice with a smile. "If Alice won't mind it, of course." I walked a bit closer to her. "Seeing as you _are _our guest, we can't have you doing things that you wouldn't enjoy."

"A quest to find a hat?" She could hardly meet my eyes and instead met those of the cat. "I don't see any problem with it? I really don't know what else I'm to do here."

With one clap, I made my excitement known. "Oh so you _will_ help me, won't you?"

She finally smiled at me. "Why not?"

"Lovely!" I gripped both of her hands between mine. "But we can't have you showing to a tea party without having a bit of tea first!"

Leading her to the long table, things seemed joyous for a moment. That is to say, until I remembered my previous incapability to create a tea that someone like _Alice _would enjoy. And so, as I sat her down nearest me and lifted the teapot, I could only hope for the best as the brown liquid cascaded into the only half clean cup.

I could feel the Hare tense as she lifted the cup to her lips and took one long gulp.

She sighed as she finished the sip of her tea. "How did you know that I loved mint?"

And I couldn't hide the pure joy within me at that moment. "It's a talent of mine."

"ACCOMPLISHED!" The Hare shouted, and quickly threw a slab of butter into Alice's glass.

"March!" I yelled back at him angrily.

"Well what?" The Hare shrugged. "The deed's done and you done good. What else do you want?"

"Did you consider perhaps she wanted to _finish_ her tea?"

The Hare shook his head, grabbed Alice's hand and dragged her to a new seat.

"Tea's never really done." He poured her a new cup. "Not really."


End file.
